kilincsem

koan pattern

Most of us have arrived at this particular point in our spiritualjourney with a little extra baggage about passion, love, and sex, andI have noticed that many people on the spiritual path have a tendencyin the mind to create a polarisation or a separation between thespiritual path and the sexual life. There a number of ways in whichthis polarisation and confusion is reinforced. One of those ways isthat we continue to subscribe to a collective cultural belief and mythperpetuated through Christianity, which is the predominant source ofmyth in our culture, about the fall of Eve. As you know, in thestory, Eve touched and ate of the forbidden fruit in the Garden ofEden and gave it to Adam, a symbolic gesture. Eve was portrayed as atemptress, a seducer, and she has been held responsible for the fallfrom heavenly grace; her sacred flesh has been falsely blamed for theevils of mankind for generations.This belief system is entrenched and deep-seated and runs through ourwhole society, even today. It is reflected in our present mythsaround sexual abuse and assault. In my work as a therapist in thatfield I noticed about ninety per cent of victimsprimarily womenwould often come away from an assault feeling that they were to blame.Its the only crime in our society where the victim walks away feelinglike somehow they did something wrong, that they are to blame. Theywould often say things like, If only I hadnt stayed back at thatparty, If only I hadnt walked down that street, If only I hadntworn that particular dress, If only I hadnt got in the car andtaken a lift home with that person, then maybe it wouldnt havehappened. We also hear offenders saying, She deserved it, She ledme on, She asked for it, She encouraged me. In some ways womenare still carrying the collective blame for abuse and sexual assaultin our society. All of us are still redeeming the body of Eve, eventoday: I see an enormous amount of that in therapy.Another factor that contributes to the disconnectedness ofspirituality and sexuality is the notion of a body/mind/spirit split.It is as if this kind of thinking, this compartmentalising of life, insome way perpetuates the notion that the body and the passions of theflesh belong to the lower realms, and the flesh needs to betranscended to realise the spirit. This kind of thinking is verydualistic and hierarchical in nature. The orthodox religious mind hasseparated the physical from the spiritual, the sensual from the soul.Rejection of the body became a common article of faith among theworlds religions, and orthodox religion has never managed to enjoythe innocence and delight of physical beauty and sensuality. Even inour own Zen history there is the story of a nun who was a verybeautiful woman, stunningly beautiful, and who went to the monasteryto become a nun, and who was rejected. She went three times and shewas rejected each time, because, they told her, she was too beautiful,she would corrupt the monks. The tragic story is that she was sointent on being a nun that she took a hot iron and put it to her face,scarred her face, just so that she could enter the nunnery.This repressed rejection of physical beauty and attraction by orthodoxreligious authorities has contributed to religions obsession withcelibacy and its condemnation of enjoying and beautifying the body.Not so long ago, Christian monks would have to make confession to thepriest about masturbation. It was considered a sinful act toexperience the normality of sexual arousal in the body. The flesh hadto be subdued and conquered. We can laugh about that now, but itsnot so long ago in our history.At the other end of the spectrum from the religious orthodox attitudeis our Western consumer cultures attitude to the flesh and the body,which has made a devotional practice of adorning the body. On themarket we have endless products available for every single region ofthe body, from the hair, to the skin, to the lips, to the breasts, tothe genitals, to the toenails. The human body from head to toe hasbecome an instrument of profit, a multibillion dollar industry.From these two extremes we are not modelled very healthy ways ofrelating to the physical, sensual nature of the body. On one side,the religious view of transcending the flesh and treating it assinful, and on the other side the endless adoring of the body, fussingover its appearances in order to prolong life, which denies thenatural ageing process. One of my teachers, Christopher Titmuss, whois of the Red Thread school, said, Religion has been unwilling to seethe sensual forces and the spirit as interconnected. Those who areobsessed with preserving their looks and sexual attraction cannot seepast their breasts and genitals, while others cannot see therelationship between their genitals and spirituality. Both miss amarriage of the flesh and spirit.Many years agomaybe not that many years agoI certainly engaged inwild and promiscuous sexual behaviour myself, that caused havoc withmy relationships and caused immense suffering to me and to others. Isuffer deep remorse and regret for what was clearly a breaking of thethird precept, concerning sexual misconduct. In reaction, in a way,to that part of the wild woman in me and in an attempt to make surethat conduct never happened again, I decided to install a kind ofpolicewoman in my psyche. A bit like Hannya: in Japanese temples theyhave wonderful little demons in the corner, with a sword, littlefierce demons called Hannya. So I decided to adopt one of those in mypsyche, and my policewoman was available at any moment to cut downthat sexual desire or fantasy the moment it arose. No, you are notgoing to think about that! Phoom! This went on for some time;while, as I said, I suffered deep guilt and remorse.This path eventually culminated in my taking of the robes in SriLanka, and ordaining as a Buddhist nun. I had really long hair then,longer than it is now, and I went from long hair to no hair at all. ASwiss nun had the wonderful opportunity of shaving my head. I thoughtin some way shaving my head was maybe shaving off some of my vanity.But after I shaved my head it was the most exhilarating experience. Idont know if some of you have had that experience, but the head is sosensitive when it hasnt got any hair on it, that it was like standingunder a shower where you could feel every little drop, every littledrop. So I was walking around with a smile, a grin, from ear to earfor days and days. This was a very joyous time and an incrediblysensual experiencelike being born again. So I couldnt even escapethat way. I thought I was going to be a nun; I thought I was going toescape having to deal with all that sensuality stuff; and shaving myhead ended up being one of the most sensual experiences.My policewoman served me well for about ten years. But that too haddevastating effects. In some way it was like cutting off a deep partof myself. The shadow comes back in the form of erotic fantasies,attractions, romantic projections, that haunt us until we understandthat there is something very deep there that needs our attention. Formany of us our sexual vitality is a mysterious life-force which seemsto operate under its own laws. Vows of celibacy do not subdue oursexual energies, nor are they contained in the holy vows of matrimony.Sexual feelings have a way of asserting themselves even in the mostpious minds, even in the most unlikely circumstances orsituationseven here in sesshin people have wonderful fantasies. Ifwe do not integrate the mind, body, flesh, and spirit, the spiritualwill always struggle with the physical, one attempting to claimsovereignty over the other, and life becomes a struggle and effort toconquer the passions in the name of the sacred. We do agree to becelibate here in sesshin, but the purpose of that is not to suppresssexual feelings or desires but simply to provide an opportunity for usto be completely alone, and experience other expressions of deepintimacy with this undivided nature.Our own lay practice has its roots in the monastic tradition andlineage of monks and nuns who take vows of celibacy, which does notreally speak to us or help us deal with the intensity of love,passion, and desire. But the intensity is there, and it rises up. Itdoes not help us deal with that energy in our daily lives. In the 17000 koans in our curriculumsome of you are looking a little amazed atthat!there are three of four koans relating to sexuality. It barelygets a mention. Yet love and sex and passion are so potent energiesthat really have a huge impact on our lives. I know that I have spentmany years at retreats and I dont think I have ever met a teacher, upuntil recently, who would open their mouth about sex and love andpassion, particularly in a retreat.So what is the Tao of love, passion, and sex? A few koans or storiesat least give us some direction or insight into the sensual nature ofthe Tao. Unfortunately these three koans get repeated every timesomeone gives a talk about this. . . . Anyway, one of themiscellaneous koans is, Why are perfectly enlightened bodhisattvasattached to the vermilion thread? The vermilion thread is the redthread, and the red thread is symbolic: I have recently learned thatit is not the line of tears , as I used to think, but it comes fromearly China, where the geisha girls and courtesans would wear a redgarter on their thigh, as the line of passions. So: Why areperfectly enlightened bodhisattvas attached to the vermilion thread?One of the characters I want to introduce you to is a wonderfulcharacter in the Zen tradition, called Ikkyu, who is one of mylongstanding and favourite Zen masters and who appeals, I guess, tothe wild woman in me. He was born in 1394 and was an illegitimate sonof the emperor Go-komatsu. He was known by some as the emperor ofrenegades, a wild wandering monk and teacher, sometimes called CrazyCloud. He was a lover, a poet, and he could write very tenderly aboutthe beauty of women. He relentlessly attacked the hypocrisy of thethen corrupt Zen establishment, and even had women as his students. Ithink he was one of the first Zen masters to have women as students;that was considered quite radical. It was in the brothels and geishahouses that he developed the Red Thread Zen, a notion he borrowed fromthe old Chinese master Kido and extended to deep and subtle levels ofrealisation. This very body is the lotus of the true law. This verybody is the lotus of the true law, linking human beings to birth anddeath by the red thread of passion. This approach was closely relatedto Tantric Buddhism, that used sexual union as a religious ritual.Ikkyus Red Thread form of Zen practice was a radical approach, anon-dualistic interpretation of the sexual act, realising this verybody is the Buddha-dharma. Ikkyu wrote a poem after his firstrealisation experience:From the world of passions returning to the world of passions:There is a moments pause.If it rains, let it rain; if the wind blows, let it blow.Ikkyus Red Thread Zen and wild, poetic, passionate nature was alsotempered, though, by his extensive training in the Rinzai school, veryintense training. Rinzai was a very strict master, and Ikkyu was verystrict and demanding with his own students.At the age of 77, Ikkyu had a passionate relationship with a mistressnamed Lady Shin. She was a blind singer and composer and a veryskilled musician, and she was in her late thirties. He wrote lots ofbeautiful graphic poetry celebrating their love, and it was in LadyShin that Ikkyu finally located his own missing female self. AsManfred Steger commented in his book Crazy Clouds, Ikkyu incorporatedbold elements of the physical relationship into his teaching of Zen,playing on koans in an erotic context, and bound the manifest andessential worlds in a love-knot. His radical methods and practiceshonoured women and the red thread that binds even the most enlightenedZen masters to passion, birth, and death. Ikkyu celebrated the joy inhuman love, and within sexuality there lies a profound sacredpractice, similar to Tantric Buddhism. He infused Zen for the firsttime with a feminine element that had long been missing. When Ikkyuwas about 80 years old that he was asked to be the abbot of Daitokoji,which is one the great temples in Japan. At that time it wascompletely in ruin from a civil war, so it was an extraordinary thingto do at 80 years old, to rebuild Daitokoji: which he did. He had anextraordinary enlightened mind.Another great character and master is Chao-chou, and he has somecomments about the passions. After master Chao-chou visited MountWu-tai, his teaching spread widely in north China. He was invited tostay at the Kuan Yin monastery in his own native town of Chao-chou.He came to the assembly and said, It is as if a transparent crystalwere held in ones hand. When a foreigner approaches it, it mirrorshim as such; when a native Chinese approaches it, it mirrors him assuch. I take a stalk of grass and let it act as a golden-bodied one,sixteen feet high, and I take a golden-bodied one, sixteen feet highand let it act as a stalk of grass. Buddhahood is passion, andpassion is Buddhahood.During his sermon a monk asked him, In whom does Buddha causepassion? Chao-chou said, Buddha causes passion in all of us.The monk asked, How do we get rid of it?Chao-chou said, Why should we get rid of it?Its not some great enlightenment verse, but it seems at least topoint some of the way in our daily lives.Another story that Aitken Roshi has told a number of times, a moreclassical story, also points at and disapproves of puritanicalreligious attitudes to sex. In ancient days an old woman madeoffering to a hermit over a period of twenty years, and one day shesent her sixteen-year-old niece to take food to the hermit, tellingher to make advances to him and to see what he would do. So the girllay her head on the hermits lap and said, How is this?The hermit said, The withered tree is rooted in an ancient rock inbitter cold during winter months; there is no warmth, no life.The girl reported this to her aunt, and the old woman said, Thatvulgarian! How outrageous! To think that I have made offerings tohim for twenty years!So she drove the hermit away and burnt down his cottage. As AitkenRoshi said in his commentary on the third precept, of sexualmisconduct, While we may question the use of the niece as bait totest the monks realisation, it is clear that the aunt fundamentallydisapproves. The monk was not responding to the human being who laydown there on his lap. He was using her to express his own asceticposition. The fire is a dream symbol of sex: You dont belong here!Sex belongs here!or at least some acknowledgment of it. So: whatwould your response be?I wish to emphasise that not cutting off the passions is not asuggestion to violate the third precept. It is not a matter of sexualmisconduct. There is a translation of the third precept by Thich NahtHanh which I think is particularly beautiful. Aware of the sufferingcaused by sexual misconduct, I vow to cultivate responsibility andlearn ways to protect the safety and integrity of individuals,couples, family, and society. I am determined not to engage in sexualrelations without love and long-term commitment. To preserve thehappiness of myself and others, I am determined to respect mycommitments and the commitments of others. I will do everything in mypower to protect children from sexual abuse and to protect couples andfamilies from being broken by sexual misconduct.Not cutting off the passions, for me now, after having gone from oneextreme to the other, is more like walking a fine line of integrity.When we deepen in our spiritual practice, our hearts become more andmore open. We have such rich and deep connections with people, withone another, truly deep loving intimacy. So how to keep that dooropen, how to keep that heartfelt life there, but not be seduced by thepower and attraction of that intimacy?Because it is in that deepintimacy, of course, that sexual attraction and energy can arise andemerge. So how to maintain an integrity in that intimacy, and be trueto our feelings of love for one another, and not fall into that wellof sexual misconduct? My own job as a therapist and teacher, ofcourse, is to create deep connections of intimacy, and that doeshappen with many people, and it is certainly wonderful and rich.Wonderful connections with people are possible in that situation. ButI have many boundaries and ethics that I apply in those situations,particularly through my psychotherapy training. There are very strictethics around that relationship. You never engage in sexualrelationships with any client; even six months after you terminatewith a client, this is not OK. But while I can keep those strictboundaries and ethics there, when I am in those roles, outside ofthose roles it is more difficult for me. Then the heart is wide open;where then are the boundaries? I know my shadow is that I fall inlove all the time, with lots of people.Whatever emerges from our lives has its roots in Buddha-nature. Solet us gassh and be grateful for our sexuality, the creative energiesthat it releases to our receptive heart and mind. We do not need toblock our sexual energies, nor do we need to be a slave to them.Sexual energy in a loving committed relationship with its fusion oflove, play, magic, ecstasy, is life celebrating life. This respectfulcommunion of the sexual act may reveal the divine mystery rather thanjust simply be pleasurable, entertaining sensations. What makes thedifference is our intentions, our love, our faith, and the attitudesthat we bring to this experience. If we hold a reverence for life, anawareness of our interconnectedness and oneness, and we experience theother as none other than our very selves, the shared joy of lovemakingis a spiritual meeting of the flesh and spirit. The boundaries of aseparate self can fall away and life is making love with life. TheBuddha-tao is to be discovered in our daily lives, the sacred is to befound in the ordinary, and the ordinary in the sacred. ChristopherTitmuss was great on one-liners, and he said, The bedroom becomes atemple of joy, and the sacred truth can be found equally between thebedsheets as in the holy books. (I told you he was from the RedThread school.)There is a koan that I would like to finish with by Rainer Maria Rilke,just a short line out of a long poem, quoted in the book called TheEnlightened Heart:Isnt the secret intentof this great Earth, when it forces lovers together,that inside their boundless emotion all things may shudder with joy?May all beings venerate life as a state of deep spiritual intimacy.Here in the fields: just those young green fronds making their way outof the earth. This is so sensual and beautiful; this is the greatsensual nature all around us. Please enjoy it!

posted by kilincs @ 3:02 PM