kilincsem

switches

Lately, I've only been checking this board once a month or every few
months, so apologies for not being around. Have a lot of thoughts to
share. Will try to start a new SP thread in the coming month.

My concern lately has been the bigger picture in a PU. That, I think, is
what should be focussed on once you can get rid of the training wheels
of constantly scripted sarges and learning to be
cool/charming/attractive.

For a while, I've been discussing with my colleagues the SWITCHES that
must be flipped in a woman in order for her to feel attraction. We put
together a really long list. From it, I boiled it down to just a few
main switches. There is no order to them. They should just be
consciously flipped at some point. So I've narrowed this down, and would
love to hear thoughts and contributions:

1. You must show her that you're safe. Trust is an important issue for
most women. This must be demonstrated. So switch #1: in order to
proceed, you need SAFETY and TRUST.

2. You must show her that you have either ambition, motivation, or
job/financial security. In other words, you must have a life and goals.
So switch #2 is demonstrating to her that you have STABILITY and
AMBITION. You don't have to be successful, you just have to show the
potential to be successful (unless you're in your 30s, at which point
you should have achieved something).

3. You must show her that you're different than the other guys, that you
are not generic or boring, that she can learn something from you or grow
with you, that you have a sense of adventure or creativity or
spirituality. So switch #3 is showing her that you HAVE SOMETHING TO
OFFER, even if you don't give it to her in the moment. This is where
DHVs are useful.

4. You must be the PRIZE of the room. She wants a guy others will envy
her for, that she can brag about to her friends. This is where social
proof comes in, where story-telling comes in. It's also where alpha
qualities come in, cocky/funny, and not supplicating. So switch #4 is
demonstrating all of the many qualities of CONFIDENCE, LEADERSHIP,
AUTHORITY, and POPULARITY

5. It's a big world and we all feel alone in it, so if you can
demonstrate that you UNDERSTAND her and where she comes from, she will
feel chemistry. This can largely be done through demonstrating either
cultural, mental, emotional, world view, humor, or life/background
commonalities. The more obscure and rare a trait that you connect on,
the more chemistry you create. So Switch #5 is demonstrating
COMMONALITIES in order to trigger CHEMISTRY.

6. You need an aura of depth and mystery. You must maybe show a
vulnerable or wounded side of yourself, you must not give away
everything for free, you must be a puzzle she wants to figure out and
maybe even have a wound she can heal. Switch #6 then is hooking her with
your DEPTH and MYSTERY.

7. You must show her that you are NOT horny, but sexual. This is where
social proof comes in too, also demonstrating an understanding of her
world (liking her for who SHE is). So switch #7 is demonstrating your
own LACK OF DESPERATION while showing her that you RECOGNIZE SOMETHING
SPECIAL IN HER THAT ATTRACTS YOU TO HER. This is where QUALIFYING is
useful, in other words demonstrating that you like her for who she
is--even if you are a player.

So I think these are the main switches. I'm open to corrections and
additions. Now, if you can FLIP these, she's really going to be into
you. It's solid game. I'd love to see another list: of the switches to
flip for a ONS -- the switches that over-ride the social programming and
make her crave that adventure and abandon.

Style

posted by kilincs @ 11:40 AM